Discover How to Spot a Serial Cheater

Suspecting that your partner is cheating can be a heart-wrenching ordeal. Before you’re consumed with uncertainty or forced to take any action, it is best to assess the situation tactfully. Was it a one-time occurrence? Is it likely to happen again? Are you dealing with a serial cheater? In this article, we’ll explore the tell-tale signs of serial cheaters to help you navigate through this delicate process.

What Is a Serial Cheater?

A serial cheater is someone who consistently engages in acts of infidelity across multiple romantic relationships. A 2017 study revealed that infidelity can recur over one’s lifetime. Notably, individuals who have cheated on a previous partner are 3 times more likely to cheat in subsequent relationships.

While infidelity statistics can vary and be inconsistent due to underreporting, a report by the Institute for Family Studies indicates that 20% of men and 13% of women admit to cheating on their spouses. Interestingly, infidelity peaks during the middle and late ages, with men in their 70s and women in their 60s showing higher rates.

7 Reasons Why People Become Chronic Cheaters, Is It Truly Due to Their Partner’s Dissatisfaction?

While dissatisfaction in a relationship can be a contributing factor for some individuals, chronic cheating typically originates from a combination of personal and relational factors. These can include:

Anger or Revenge. A serial emotional cheater may seek emotional connections elsewhere as a way to get revenge. Constant dissatisfaction in a relationship might lead someone to want their partner to experience similar emotions, hoping it will convey the depth of hurt caused.
Commitment Issues. Past trauma or a series of unhealthy relationships can trigger commitment issues, fostering anxiety and avoidance behaviors.
Falling Out of Love. Falling out of love can lead people to cheat as they no longer feel emotionally connected or fulfilled within the relationship.
Unmet Sexual Needs. When one or both partners’ intimacy needs remain unfulfilled, they may stay in the relationship, hoping for improvement. However, prolonged unmet needs can lead to frustration, which can drive individuals to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
Low Self-Esteem. Serial cheater psychology such as low self-esteem can drive people to cheat as they seek validation from others to compensate for their own feelings of inadequacy. This can lead them to have affairs externally as a way to feel desired and boost self-esteem.
Situational Forces. Situational factors can lead to cheating by creating circumstances that make infidelity more likely. For instance, being in unsupervised environments like business trips or social gatherings can increase temptation and reduce accountability, raising the likelihood of cheating.
Chronic Cheaters Cheat Because They Can. Engaging in infidelity doesn’t always indicate dissatisfaction with one’s relationship. Although it’s not common for all cheaters, many who commit adultery are actually satisfied with their relationship and aren’t even looking for a breakup. A study by Rutgers University found that 56% of men and 34% of women who had affairs were happy with their partners. They simply engage in such behavior because they can…

Quick Guide on How to Spot a Serial Cheater

Serial cheaters tend to display predictable behavior, although they might not be immediately noticeable. If you are dealing with a serial cheater in marriage, here are 20 telltale signs to look for:

History of Infidelity. Serial cheating often involves persistent infidelity. Individuals who have cheated on their partners in the past are very likely to cheat again in future relationships. While the exact reasons for this trend remain unclear, it’s likely that rather than learning from their past actions, cheaters may justify their behavior, making it easier to repeat.
Fear of Commitments. Commitment issues can result from past trauma or a series of unhealthy relationships, often triggering anxiety and avoidance behavior. This may lead individuals to self-sabotage their monogamous relationships.
Inconsistent Stories and Lies. Consistent lies and inconsistent stories from your partner could signal serial cheating, especially if their stories vary and differ from what they’ve told others.
Increased Secrecy of Devices. A serial cheater husband often guards his privacy closely, resisting or refusing to share access to his devices. Signs of this behavior include: covering his phone while texting in your presence, leaving the room for calls, getting defensive if you request device access, and using passcodes or other controls.
Sudden Change in Appearance. A serial cheater wife might become overly focused on her appearance to attract new partners. You might observe her spending more time at the gym, changing her hairstyle, or purchasing stylish clothes. Noticeable changes in her attire when she goes out could indicate she’s meeting someone else.
Repeated Claims of Change. A serial cheater might admit to past infidelities but typically follows with grand promises of change. Often, they shift blame onto external factors, such as the other person, to justify their actions.
Avoidance of Future Discussions. Despite appearing committed, numerous serial cheaters struggle to see a long-term future with their partners. They evade discussions about milestones like marriage, children, or cohabitation, often resorting to excuses to justify their avoidance or delay.
Emotional Distance. Emotional distance in your relationship could signal that your spouse is involved with someone else. Consider a situation where your spouse was once affectionate, even sharing their deep thoughts with you. Then over time, they start pulling away. You no longer have meaningful conversations, and intimacy becomes strained.
Speaking Negatively about Exes. Serial cheaters are often cynical when it comes to previous relationships. They may blame former partners for being difficult or even “crazy”. Instead of acknowledging their wrongdoings, they will justify that someone else’s actions drove them to behave that way.
Avoiding Solitude. Serial cheaters are social by nature. They crave constant admiration and company. Fearful of loneliness, they hop from one relationship to the next, avoiding facing their own insecurities. If your partner seems to always need someone by their side, it could be a warning sign of deeper issues.
Flirting More Often. Serial cheaters may openly flirt with others in front of their partners, showcasing their interest through nonverbal cues. This can include frequent compliments, engaging in physical touch like kissing, laughing often, and gently teasing others. If confronted, they often deny their behavior and insist they’re just being friendly.
Last-Minute Cancellations. Serial cheaters often juggle multiple relationships at the same time. They constantly wager their time to determine the best way to meet their needs. As a result, they often present as inconsistent and unreliable. Even if you have committed to certain plans, they have no problem canceling them if a better opportunity presents itself.
Feelings of Anxiety. In healthy relationships, partners trust each other mutually. While you may lack concrete evidence, your intuition might detect suspicious behavior, causing anxiety about the relationship. This doesn’t confirm cheating, but if you constantly feel uneasy or insecure, it’s important to address your concerns.
Adrenaline Junkies by Nature. Serial cheaters thrive on risk, enjoying the adrenaline rush of living on the edge. Whether it’s extreme sports or risky financial decisions, their penchant for excitement can lead them down the path of infidelity. While not all thrill-seekers are cheaters, it’s wise to stay vigilant if your partner constantly seeks out risky ventures.
Lack of Remorse. In most cases, when you bring up the issue of infidelity with serial cheaters, they don’t show any remorse. Imagine discovering your partner’s secret affair and gathering the courage to lay out your feelings with the hope of them being remorseful to soothe your emotional wounds. Then, instead of getting an apology, they deflect the blame on you, accusing you of being a control freak.
Have Been in a Series of Short-Term Relationships. Serial cheaters shun long-term commitments, preferring the fleeting excitement of new romances. Their history is marked by a string of short-term relationships, and they’re quick to leave when boredom sets in, or they’re caught in their deceit.
Self-Centeredness and Conceit Are Evident. Serial cheaters are highly self-centered. They view themselves as superior to others, justifying their infidelity as their entitlement. They prioritize their own desires above all else, believing they deserve special treatment and are exempted from the rules that bind others.
Always Unsatisfied. Compulsive cheaters are perennially dissatisfied, always seeking more in life. No amount of love or attention is ever enough to fill their insatiable need for validation and excitement.

Can Serial Cheaters Change?

The question, “Can a serial cheater change?”, often lingers in our minds when considering taking a leap of faith. While serial cheaters often pledge to reform, it is exceedingly uncommon. The entrenched deceit and betrayal characterizing serial infidelity stem from deeply rooted personality traits, dysfunctional behavioral patterns, or even serial cheater personality disorder. To initiate change, they must undergo significant shifts in their approach to relationships and integrity. Even so, people are capable of modifying their behaviors despite challenges.

Effects of Serial Cheating on Relationships

Serial cheating deeply impacts everyone involved. Serial cheaters and liars may use defensive strategies to justify their actions, which are often seen in individuals with addictive behaviors. They may find it challenging to maintain relationships and experience feelings of guilt without fully understanding why.

For those who are cheated on, it can significantly affect their self-esteem and confidence, potentially worsening existing mental health troubles and increasing relationship conflict. Moreover, people caught up in these situations might also experience symptoms such as PTSD from cheating.

How to Catch a Serial Cheater

Relying solely on a hunch isn’t sufficient to confront a narcissist serial cheater about infidelity. What’s necessary is tangible proof, which can often be acquired through free spy apps tailored for tracking cheaters, such as SpyBubble.

SpyBubble stands out as one of the best apps designed to monitor the activities of a cheating partner anonymously on both iPhone and Android devices. What sets it apart is its capability to even track deleted calls and text messages, making it a comprehensive solution for monitoring suspicious behavior. Installing SpyBubble is easy, requiring 3 simple steps:

Visit the SpyBubble website, register, and purchase a subscription. There are discounts and a 1$ trial on offer. Contact customer support for details.
Install SpyBubble on your partner’s Android phone, or provide their Apple ID and password to track them via iCloud.
Access your account and wait for their data to start streaming in.

Some of the useful features include:

Tracking calls: Spy on all incoming and outgoing calls, including deleted ones.
Tracking text messages: Here, you will access all the text messages sent, received, or deleted.
Social media monitoring: Access your serial cheater profile on popular apps such as Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and dating platforms. Also, view their browsing history.
GPS location tracker: Track the cheater’s phone’s exact location on Google Maps.

How to Deal with a Serial Cheater

Infidelity can be damaging to relationships as well as undermining trust and self-worth. Despite its painful nature, below are ways to navigate the aftermath of being married to a serial cheater, including supporting serial cheater recovery.

Know that you’re not to blame. Regardless of why your partner strayed, remember that their choice was theirs alone. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself of this often.
Expect a flood of emotions during this time—anger, grief, guilt, resentment, and more. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment, understanding that healing takes time.
Avoid the temptation to seek revenge or make hasty decisions fueled by anger. Keep children out of any conflict, and prioritize your healing journey.
You may either go counseling together and try to fix things or go apart, the choice is up to you.

Takeaway

Serial cheaters cause a lot of pain to those they hurt, especially for those in long-term committed relationships. If you’re unsure about your partner’s loyalty, watch out for signs of serial cheating to protect yourself and make informed decisions about the future of your relationship. If your suspicions persist, consider using a spy app like SpyBubble to monitor your partner’s activities. While change is possible for your partner, prioritizing your well-being is paramount. Don’t hesitate to seek therapy if you’re finding it hard to cope with personal or relationship challenges after experiencing infidelity.

FAQ

What are the warning signs of a serial cheater?

If you’re wondering whether your wife or husband is a serial cheater, common signs of a serial cheater, like secrecy, frequent excuses, and inconsistencies in their stories discussed, may serve as a red flag. Remember, however, that these signs alone do not confirm infidelity. Open communication is also crucial for addressing concerns and uncovering the truth in a relationship.

Why is it so hard to leave a cheating partner?

Leaving a cheating partner can be incredibly challenging due to various emotional, psychological, and practical factors. Emotionally, you may still love your partner and hold onto the hope that they will change or that the relationship can be salvaged. Additionally, other financial implications, shared assets, and children can make it harder to leave.

Should I forgive a serial cheater?

Whether or not to forgive a serial cheater is dependent on various factors, like the nature of the relationship, the severity of the betrayal, and your values and boundaries. While forgiveness can be a healing journey for both individuals involved, it’s crucial to assess whether the cheater has genuinely expressed remorse, accepted accountability for their actions, and actively worked towards changing their behavior.

Can cheaters be trusted again?

You can trust a serial cheater woman or man if their actions indicate genuine change or a sincere intention to change. Building trust is a gradual process, so don’t rush to transform your relationship overnight. Take it slow, one step at a time, and trust will naturally begin to develop.

What is the best way to catch a cheater?

The most straightforward method to catch a cheater is by fostering open and honest communication. Yet, if suspicions persist, consider using a tracking app like SpyBubble, which anonymously monitors a cheating spouse’s activities, including deleted calls and text messages.

By camilla-finch

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