7 Stages of Emotional Affairs: Is Your Partner Loyal?

Emotional connection with someone else, mainly if they are of the opposite gender, is something more than just a friend you like to talk to. It’s about confiding worries and sharing significant aspects of life, all under the vow of secrecy. Frequently, an emotional affair starts as an innocent friendship, but in time, it can grow into something more. You might prioritize spending time with this person, even in a relationship. Although your relationships may not involve physical affairs, they may be emotionally provocative and intimate, which may lead to divorce or constant conflicts with your significant other.

In this review, we will delve into the 7 stages of emotional affairs and tell you how to deal with each stage. We will also discuss what should be done to save relationships with your partner and not cross the line in a relationship with your friend.

What Is Emotional Infidelity?

To start with, let’s explain to you what emotional infidelity is. Emotional infidelity refers to a form of relational dynamic wherein two individuals share a closeness and emotional intimacy similar to that of a romantic relationship without the physical aspect being involved. According to Wikipedia, “emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart”.

But how to check whether you are not involved in an emotional infidelity? Here’s a short checklist that will help you determine whether you have someone other than your partner with whom you have an emotional relationship.

You have a platonic friendship that is characterized by the absence of physically intimate contact, but physical touch like hugging or cuddling is present.
Hiding texting with someone from your partner.
Having an emotional involvement with someone else besides your SO.
Sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else besides your partner.
Spending time with someone who you’re aware has developed feelings for you.
Sending flirty messages to someone/getting turned on by chatting with them.
Feeling an emotional attachment to a person who is not your partner.
Going on a date with someone you find appealing.
Explaining to someone who has feelings for you about the unmet needs that your current partner isn’t meeting.

Emotional Cheating vs. Physical Cheating Findings

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, which offers individual and couples counseling, emotional infidelity in marriage is one of the most frequent problems of divorces and family therapists. Although most couples frown upon cheating, surveys show that around 15% of women and 25% of men have engaged in sexual activity outside of their long-term relationships. When emotional and sexual intimacies excluding intercourse are included, these percentages rise by 20%. It means the reason for physical infidelity that is frequently caused by a lack of emotional support. If one of the partners does not find it inside their relationship, they may be involved in an emotional relationship with someone else.

How Emotional Affairs Start: 6 Reasons Explained

One user on Reddit wrote, “Emotional cheating starts in the head. It’s about who comes first”. If a person starts thinking about the other person daily, and it is not the person they are in a relationship with, it might be the first red flag that an emotional affair begins. But what are the reasons for emotional cheating? Why suddenly becomes another person so irresistible to you?

You have started to take each other for granted.
You’ve been in a relationship with someone for so long that each day feels increasingly mundane, lacking in fresh emotions, intimacy, and emotional excitement.
If you are broken and need support but experience a lack of emotional connection in your primary relationship, you may find emotional fulfillment elsewhere, sharing the deepest thoughts with the other person who is not your SO.
Emotional affairs often start when you seek connection, novelty, freedom, and intimacy. It can happen if you’re craving excitement that’s missing in your primary relationship, experiencing inappropriate emotional contact, feeling empowered by keeping secrets or rebelling against being the ‘good’ person without crossing lines.
Your attachment style and self-esteem shape how you navigate relationships, particularly if you witness parental betrayal, fear abandonment, or use fantasies to avoid responsibilities, which can lead to emotional infidelity.
Emotional affairs and texting performed hiddenly from your current partner are also signs of an emotional connection between two people that may grow into something more. As a result – you betray your partner.

7 Stages of Emotional Affairs

Well, what are the stages of emotional affairs? Becoming emotionally involved with a friend can happen without you even noticing. These situations start innocently but can cause trouble in your long-term relationship. Let’s explore the 7 stages of emotional affairs.

Stage #1: Innocent Friendship

Someone once said: “Everything starts with friendship”. When you reconnect with an old friend or find a soulmate at work, you feel you have found someone with whom you can discuss your daily worries and new achievements. You feel important when they call you and ask how you are doing. You will text them more often, and even when in a relationship with another person, you will realize how good they are and how difficult it would be if you had not met them then.

Stage #2: Emotional Intimacy

In the second stage, you may start thinking about your friend more often, and one day, you will realize that there’s something more than an innocent friendship. You share more with this person than your partner and feel a stronger emotional connection between you two. You appreciate the support and care your friend provides, which makes you feel like your partner isn’t putting in as much effort because you don’t receive the same level of support and care from them.

Although you do not have sex with that person, you feel sexual tension with your platonic partner. Slowly, you start enjoying the faint flirtation. Even though you hadn’t intended to engage in inappropriate friendships while married or in a committed relationship, the line between emotional cheating and friendship becomes less clear.

Stage #3: Secrecy and Deception

As the emotional bond grows, you may hide your interactions or feelings from your partners. You might use private messages or lie about your actions to keep the connection secret. You might think keeping secrets to protect the friendship or avoid hurting your partner is okay, but it usually causes trust issues.

Stage #4: Flirting and Sexual Desire

The fourth stage of an emotional affair is the growth or emotional attachment and a desire to be physically intimate with your emotional affair partner. You may notice the parts of your friend’s personality you do not notice in your partner or yourself more physically attracted to the friend. You may catch yourself thinking that you want to dress for your friend and look more sexually appealing, hoping to get compliments and attention in turn.

Your conversations with this person start to include sexual hints and suggestive comments. What is worse, you may be thinking about that person while having sex with your SO.

Stage #5: Prioritizing Friendship over Relationships with Your SO

You and your “emotional partner” have become an inseparable team, sharing intimate details, seeking advice, and relying on each other for support. This closeness may lead you to prioritize time with your emotional companion over your romantic partner, causing frustration and confusion for your partner.

At this stage, the emotional affair precedes the primary relationship, influencing everyday decisions. Even routine activities like meals with your current partner may be interrupted by spending time with your emotional affair partner instead, leading to more problems in the near future.

Stage #6: Indifference Towards the Life You’ve Built with Your Partner

At this stage, a little emotional intimacy with your friend becomes so profound that you become less interested in the life you have built with your SO. You want to escape from your current relationships and catch yourself on the thought that you have lost connection with your partner. The emotional bond with your friend is so important for you that you’ve realized they’ve replaced everything. In your heart, you realize that you need an intimate connection with that person. And that is where the last stage of an emotional affair becomes.

Stage #7: Desire to Leave

Out of the 7 stages of emotional affairs, this stage of an emotional affair becomes dominant. You see that both sexual as well as emotional connection towards your partner was lost, and you do not want to do anything to rebuild your relationship. You’re itching to jump ship and start listing why you do not want to stay. Without intervention, there’s little hope left for the relationship as you’ve thrown in the towel and feel the grass might be greener on the other side. That is where emotional affairs turn into sexual infidelity.

Signs and Examples of Emotional Affairs

Do you want to know whether your partner does not have any emotional affairs? Do they still trust you with their secrets and do not share them with someone else? What are the examples of emotional affairs? How to check your cheating partner? Here is the list of the most common signs of emotional affairs.

Your partner does not feel happy when they spend time with you.
Your SO spends too much time at work or prefers hanging out with their friends instead of spending time with you.
You have noticed them chatting with another man or woman regularly.
Your significant other hides their phone from you and behaves mysteriously regarding online communication.
Your partner criticizes your actions and frequently compares you with their close friend.
Your partner seems to be growing distant, hardly sharing anything about their life with you anymore.
You feel neglected when they forget to acknowledge your special occasions or opt to celebrate them with their friends, including that particular friend, instead of focusing on you.
You have noticed that your SO has developed a deep emotional connection with someone outside the relationship, sharing their thoughts, emotions, and even intimate issues.
Your partner relies on the other person instead of you for emotional support and validation.

How to Keep an Eye on Your Partner and Stay Alert?

Many married men and women, as well as those who have not married yet, may look for emotional and sexual partners when the relationship with their primary partner does not fulfill their needs completely. To protect your relationship from the same danger, here are a few recommendations for you to follow:

Prioritize time together to nurture your bond and prevent emotional distance.
Share what disturbs you with your SO.
Install reliable hidden spyware like SpyBubble on your partner’s phone to track all their activities without them knowing: calls, messages, media, browser history, deleted info, and much more.
If there is something you do not like – tell about it; do not hold it inside.
If you feel betrayed, address your suspicions openly to your partner.
If you do not like them speaking with someone, tell them about this.
Pay enough attention to your partner’s emotional and physical well-being.
Ensure you have harmony in your sexual life.
Pay attention to any sudden changes in your SO’s behavior, such as increased secrecy, distance, or mood swings.
Trust your guts and never ignore warning signs.
If you’re struggling to address issues in the relationship or rebuild trust, seek professional couples therapy or counseling.

How to Repair a Relationship After an Emotional Affair

Although coping with an emotional affair is difficult, here are a few recommendations that can help you deal with it:

Establish clear rules for your relationship, like balancing time with friends and dedicating specific moments to focus on your partner and family.
Spend more time together and do not talk about the past painful experience.
Talk openly with your SO about your daily life, from daily events to how you feel about different situations.
Set physical boundaries to protect the sanctity of your relationship and ensure that both partners feel comfortable and respected.
Don’t do things that make your partner feel unhappy, stressed, or underestimated.
If something bothers you, do not hide it. Talk openly about any issue that may bother you.
Take responsibility for all your actions, and never try to lie to your partner.
Look at the different ways to spend time together, such as watching TV at home or watching a movie in the cinema. Always aim to make your quality time enjoyable and memorable.
Apply for professional assistance to save your marriage in case you notice you cannot repair a relationship after an emotional affair.
If none of the above-listed helps and you realize you do not want to save these relationships and want to start a new relationship later, give yourself some time until the wounds heal.

Conclusion

Although couples may experience different levels of emotional affairs, the crucial aspect lies in resolving issues with an unfaithful partner and finding a way to rebuild trust and intimacy after betrayal. So, if you value your marriage or relationship, you must be willing to address the underlying issues, communicate openly, and work together to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.

By jekson-birch

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