Paradoxically, trust is one of the most vulnerable aspects of a relationship, but without trust, it is impossible to build healthy relationships. Something or someone is bound to suffer in such a scenario, with trust issues corroding your once seemingly ideal relationship. So how do you tie with suspicions once and for all and see things as they are?
What Are Trust Issues?
Those who have only heard about trust issues from afar but have never encountered them personally may consider this topic exaggerated. However, this is not just one of the trending things of today; a person suffering from mistrust has a very difficult time learning to trust again following a failed romantic experience or some other traumatic relationship in the past. Failure to trust affects not only their love life but also everyday activities – for example, it leads to excessive anxiety when it comes to choosing a service or specialist or trusting people in general.
Because most people don’t delve into the definition of trust and/or are unwilling to undergo the necessary therapy to work through their feelings, preferring just to numb them, they go in a vicious circle, entering into new relationships and making them toxic and unhealthy, too. Trust issues can manifest themselves in one way or in a variety of ways, usually including:
- Jealousy. This refers to irrational jealousy caused largely by a person’s misinterpretation of a situation rather than by the actual actions or intentions of their partner.
- Fear of getting close to someone. Some are rather skeptical about positive behavior towards them from other people and try to isolate themselves from contact with others, even if it’s just going to lunch with a colleague. People with trust issues tend to see deceit everywhere, and it is difficult for them to simply relax.
- Fear of commitment and opening up to a partner. It feels like you are doing this dance alone – while your partner huddles in the corner. People with anxiety and trust issues use this coping mechanism so that, God forbid, no one ever sees their true self under the armor and, therefore, has no chance to betray and hurt them ever again.
What Causes Trust Issues
Other deviations from normal behavior in relationships may include overprotectiveness, unfounded depression or the feeling of loneliness, a tendency to fight over trifles, and a myriad of other things. Of course, caring partners can try to help their significant other to overcome these problems if ungrounded, but to do this, you need to understand the root of the problem and, at a minimum, not ignore these issues and not try to prick the vulnerable partner in turn.
You need to keep in mind that lack of trust in a relationship arises as a defense mechanism that could be formed as a result of:
- childhood neglect or abuse
- experienced trauma of bullying and other social rejection
- betrayal by the closest person (parent, best friend, loved one)
- an unbalanced mental health state that may be genetically transmitted or acquired
However, one cannot ignore reality and play a one-sided game because sometimes suspicions are not at all groundless, and their occurrence cannot be regarded as signs of trust issues and is a “problem” of the other partner.
5 Warning Signs That You Can’t Trust Someone
Relationships can be either paradise or war zone. Unfortunately, you may not always know which one you’re in until a certain point since many people wear masks like pros, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for failing to recognize it.
Before you take your relationship to the next level, you need to try to put aside everything that a person makes you feel – love, passion, admiration for their intelligence and charisma, etc. – and re-examine the core foundations of your relationship. To do this, imagine that you find yourself in extreme conditions, washed up on the shore of a desert island, or finding yourself in the forest after a plane crash. Will your lover try to maintain their composure and act as a team with you, or show their true colors?
Sometimes, having trust issues in a relationship means hearing the voice of intuition and common sense that you may be subconsciously trying to drown out. If you want to be in a relationship with a trustworthy person, then you need to take off your rose-colored glasses and check for the following red flags in your relationship:
- They always want to be right. A person’s inability to acknowledge their wrongdoings means that their ego is much more important to them than anything else, which makes you always feel guilty and, therefore, inferior. For a harmonious relationship, it is essential sometimes to make concessions, even if you know that your partner was wrong in the situation.
- You can’t rely on them. Everything can be roses and rainbows until you ask your loved one to meet you after a doctor’s appointment, and they… just forget to do it. How to trust a person in more serious situations if they cannot be relied upon even when specifically asked? By the way, you can pay attention to how seriously a person takes their obligations to other people. Don’t think that they will behave differently with you.
- They are lying even about little things, just for fun. There will be no trust in relationship where one of the partners does not know how to be honest. There should be consistency in the words and actions of an adult, and you should not feel like you are being bamboozled or that there is a lack of sincerity in this relationship.
- Their behavior has changed, and it’s not your imagination. In a relationship, you have the right to receive attention and care, otherwise feeling of vulnerability is quite common. Your loved one should continue to find time for you, even if they have other priorities at work, hobbies, etc. Admit to them that you are starting to have trust issues in relationship – it may turn out that your partner has distanced themselves because they are struggling with something they don’t want to bother you with, so try to get on the path to recovery together.
- They act weird around their gadgets. It is normal for modern people to spend a lot of time on their smartphones and laptops. However, if you notice that they are trying to hide the screen and keep their communications secret from you, then you can’t help but ask questions and suspect them of cheating. However, you don’t always need to act straightforward and raise a panic; you can do a little independent research first.
Do You Have a Moral Right to Spy on Your Partner?
As weird as it sounds, it depends, although in most cases, the answer is probably no. It all depends on how often you ask yourself the question, why can’t I trust my partner, how many times you have noticed the most primitive signs of their lies and betrayal or perhaps received hints from mutual friends and acquaintances.
While every person has the right to privacy, which must be respected, you can probably think of examples where a person’s skillful concealment of their own unpleasant actions and their deviousness could only be discovered after a while and took away a lot of your nerves and time that no one will compensate to you. If this is the case, there’s a potent tool called SpyBubble, which can help you discern lies, or you may look inward for truth’s sake and try to appease your own demons.
How to Overcome Trust Issues: 8 Tips
If the problem is you, you can’t rub it away or ignore it all the time; sooner or later, you will have to courageously say goodbye to your fears on your own or with outside help.
- Communication is the key. No matter which side of the fence you find yourself on, as a person with trust issues or dealing with such a partner, you should not close yourself off and distance yourself while you are in this relationship. You should be comfortable sharing your fears with a loved one and thus jointly strengthening your relationship – this is the best way to rebuild trust. Without sincerity and willingness to make concessions, your union is doomed.
- Recognize and analyze trust issues. You need to know the enemy by sight, even if it is subtle fear or a tendency to suspicion. You can remember which of your attacks provoked a conflict with a loved one, take a pen to write down how you felt at that moment and think about how to fix trust issues. This is useful for acknowledging the problem itself and stopping placing blame solely on the partner, and it can also be used during sessions with a therapist.
- Prioritize amending your relationship. After having a meaningful conversation with your loved one, try to be the best version of yourself. Don’t expect significant changes in a short time, but remember that you can change your habits and approaches if you are consistent and, of course, see the same efforts on the part of your partner.
- Be lenient with their minor missteps. Learn to forgive and not hold a grudge in your heart – this will be beneficial both for your partner’s desire to change for the better and for your well-being. We all learn from our mistakes.
- Don’t be afraid to take risks. It is fear, the primal fear of being abandoned, deceived, or humiliated, that dictates us to behave paranoid and destructively in relationships. Try to let go of your fears, and after you have tried to live immersed in mistrust, try to build a relationship based on trust and gratitude for what you have.
- Don’t rush things if trust has been broken or lost. This is a debatable question whether it is worth trying to revive a relationship in which there was betrayal and most likely other accompanying problems, but if such a decision has been made, you will need time, time, and time again. Well, what is required from your partner, among other things, is a firm willingness to give you all the time in the world for moral recovery and genuine desire and actions to help you with this.
- Avoid obsessive behavior. Starting small, concerns can snowball, which is something you should avoid at all costs. Remember that you are not able to control the behavior of another person, but you are able to control your thoughts, so try to be positive, and if something really important is bothering you, be sure to discuss it with your partner.
- Get professional help. If you begin to panic after reading the above or have already had a bad experience putting these tips on coping with relationship or marriage trust issues into practice, you may need outside help. The point is that we cannot look into the depths of our consciousness on our own, let alone heal old mental wounds, so the help of an experienced therapist or psychologist will be most welcome.
How to Fix Trust Issues with the Help of SpyBubble?
Sighing deeply, we all dream that there is a magic solution that can solve our problems in relationships. However, there is no one to do that other than ourselves. Except you can count on some help in seeing things as they are with the help of the SpyBubble monitoring application.
There is no need to be nervous that your activities will be revealed, as the software offers stealthy real-time tracking to preserve your anonymity. Do you trust your boyfriend or girlfriend? With powerful functionality covering instant messengers, calls, socials, deleted chats and files, as well as access to their location, among other things, you can find out much more than they want you to.
Trust issues are no game, especially if you’re set for a long-term and meaningful union. They can and will take a toll on relationships with loved ones, as well as on your very persona. However, this does not mean that the problem should be ignored because you can start building trust as soon as possible together with a partner, the sincerity of whose intentions you can verify using the SpyBubble app, and also possibly with the participation of a therapist for a more profound effect.
What is the best app for couples with trust issues?
Many people speak positively about SpyBubble, an application for online monitoring of mobile devices. Among its advantages are a lightweight design, unobtrusive operation, and tons of features.
What are the legal and ethical considerations of spying on your spouse?
It is entirely possible from any point of view to monitor the activity of any adult on devices with their permission. Attempts to monitor private information are most often illegal and may be punishable by law, depending on the jurisdiction.
Can you love someone and not trust them?
Yes, it is quite possible to have feelings for someone but also doubt their reliability if someone managed to break trust in the past, for instance. Achieving ultimate love and trust takes time, and if you are in a relationship with a person in which there is no support, mutual respect, and honesty, you are most likely deceiving yourself and trying to save a toxic relationship.
Is it possible to get over trust issues?
When thinking about how to trust again, people can turn to such methods as heart-to-heart communication with a loved one and making sure that they are ready to make efforts for this. No matter how difficult it may be, a person with trust issues needs to be optimistic and let go of resentment and suspicion.
What are the signs of a woman with trust issues?
Women with trust issues may display behaviors such as avoiding commitment, acting overprotective while at the same time being reluctant to open up, or having a tendency to assume the worst.
What are the signs of a man with trust issues?
Men with trust issues often come as distanced, showcasing frequent signs of jealousy, avoiding commitment, and inclined to fast-ending relationships.