An opinion that monogamy is artificial keeps spreading in society; you can hear more and more men saying things like: “Naturally, I am supposed to be polygamous, as I need to spread my seed/have offsprings with as many females as possible to ensure my keen continues its existence”. It is a common argument to justify cheating in a relationship, and if you have never heard it – you are extremely lucky.
The counter-point is that people are different from animals, and they have already got on the top stair of evolution, creating hundreds of social, governmental, and moral norms, which are also unnatural. If we ignore them, society will get into uncontrollable anarchy, risking humankind’s existence. Thus, this story about “natural polygamy” is a regular excuse for a cheating boyfriend to justify he is not an asshole.
How to Catch Him in Cheating?
How to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you? At first, it might seem difficult, but if you know what to pay attention to and what to focus on – catching a cheater is easier than making a sandwich. All the signs can be conventionally divided into emotional and physical categories.
Before we get to catch a cheater, we should agree on what is considered cheating to avoid any misunderstanding in the future. An article published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health explains that cheating happens when people break mutually established agreements:
- romantic agreement created by starting relationships;
- family agreement created when people get married;
- parental agreement when people have children together.
Based on this, if a boyfriend who was in a relationship with you flirted, kissed, or even worse, had sex with another individual, he cheated. But how do we understand it?
Look for Physical Signs
There are always physical signs he’s cheating, as it is impossible to behave all the same with one person and have an affair with another.
1. Unusual Phone Routine
Mobile phone is the first thing you should turn to should you wonder how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. And we do not mean cheating (not now); look at how often your boyfriend is on his phone and think, has it always been like this? If he spends much more time with this device in his hands than it used to be – it is one of the first signs he’s cheating.
2. New Appearance
If you suddenly notice your boyfriend changes his style or appearance, think about why this happened. Of course, it is so sweet to think that everything happens because of you and for you, but in this case, why did it not happen from the very beginning? Among all signs your boyfriend is cheating, this is the most obvious one.
3. Scratches and Other Weird Marks on His Body
It might seem that this sign should not work. Are boyfriends stupid to allow it to happen? Well, yes, scratches and kiss marks are honey for their ego. If you are looking for a 100% liable recommendation on how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you – check his whole body for such marks.
4. New Sexual Habits
“He wants to try a threesome. Is he cheating, or am I paranoid?” “He is insisting on new things in bed all of a sudden, what is going on?” Such things usually mean that your boyfriend has either already had something with someone else or is about to.
5. Money Issues
Money is definitely a physical sign. Not money, but their absence. If you notice your boyfriend stopped inviting you to restaurants, does not plan trips together, or does not ask what you want to get for a New Year or Birthday – it is one of the signs of cheating boyfriend.
One of the main body language signs is the absence of any body language. If you notice your boyfriend communicates less or spends less time with you – it should be an alarm signal. People do not change their behavior for no reason. Of course, he might be death-sick, but there is a higher probability that he is just not faithful.
Look for Emotional Signs
Signs he’s emotionally cheating are usually harder to notice and more painful. Unfortunately, cheating without emotional harm does not exist, so everyone who has problems with their partner goes through this emotional mincer.
Finding out your loved one has secrets from you is like getting stabbed with an emotional dagger in the very heart. Of course, in case you are interested in how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you, it is not the most obvious sign. But if you feel something is being hidden from you by your BF – start looking for other signs.
2. Your Boyfriend Becomes Easily Irritable
Stop questioning yourself, “Is my boyfriend cheating on me?” if you feel he gets angry and irritable for nothing. Our psychology works in such a way that secrets bear us. And this burden makes people easily irritable, even if they have taken it on their own will.
3. Lack of Sexual Desire
Sex is a very important part of human relationships, and if suddenly you start having less of it in your couple, it is one of the biggest body language signs that something is wrong. It might be high time for you to take a closer look at your partner and try to catch him red-handed with someone else. It is the rotation of sex in nature: if someone gets less sex – someone else gets more sex.
It is one of the most terrible feelings when the person you love starts comparing you to someone else in a negative way. You can often see cheaters gaslighting their partners, trying to transfer their guilt. And yes, they feel guilty. They cheat, feel guilty, do not like this feeling, and want to make you responsible for their cheating because you are less attractive, a log in bed, do not value them, etc.
5. He Does Not Work on Your Relationships
It is not a secret that relationships are hard work. However, the mindset of a cheating man is different, as they already do not see any sense in investing their time and efforts in your relationships. They are with someone else in their thoughts. Thus, if you feel your boyfriend is not interested in you anymore, it might mean he is more interested in someone else.
6. He Sends Less Time with You
On top of the “How to tell if your boyfriend is cheating” list is the time you spend together. Yes, as simple as that. People spend time together if they love each other and tend to avoid their partners if they are not interested anymore or have someone else. Thus, the first red flag would be a bunch of excuses like “I am busy”, “I am tired”, “I had a hard week”, etc. People in love always find time for each other and help put each other to rights.
Look for Evidence
“How to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you?” is the most essential question everyone who appears in such a terrible situation has. Well, of course, you need evidence first of all! Check if your suspicions are true.
1. Use a Phone Tracker
How to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you through text? Simply use a phone tracker, for instance, SpyBubble. It will show you all the text messages and listings on social networks. Of course, there is some fuss with installation, but the result is worth it. You can even check your boyfriend’s location anytime, which greatly helps.
2. Talk to His Friends
Should you wonder how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you – talk to his friends. He may have already boasted to them, or they simply will tell you he was not with them when he claimed the opposite. In both cases, you will make the conclusions you need.
3. Check His Bank Statement
His bank statement can be a Klondike of important information about his life. If you see any weird payments for hotels or presents you have never got – he gave them to someone else. Who? Well, most probably, not his mother.
What Should You Do If You Suspect He’s Cheating?
If you suspect your boyfriend is a cheater – get the evidence first. After that, if he is open for discussion, try couples counseling. Many people are skeptical about psychological help, but it can be really useful if both partners are ready to go through it.
If your main concern is how to find out if your boyfriend is cheating on his phone – use a tracker; it is not a big deal to find a decent one and install it nowadays. You won’t go wrong by opting for SpyBubble. And, of course, try talking to him and raising your concerns. He may not be cheating; in this case, he will consider all your comments and work harder on your relationships.