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You can often come across statements that people are social creatures and creating families or making friends is a big and important part of being a human, but… Still, people cheat. Although it is incorrect to say that all men cheat, according to the survey, there is 7% gap between men (20%) and women (13%) who confirm that they are into adultery, so a very logical question arises – what do they think at that moment? What is the mindset of a cheating man? Let’s find out!
Key Pointers
So, here are the main things we will discuss in this article:
- 15 reasons for men to cheat and what is the psychology behind cheating;
- what experts and scientists think about this;
- what should you do if you think your boyfriend or husband is a cheater;
- the most popular myths about infidelity;
- using a reliable SpyBubble phone tracker to catch a cheater.
People often think that there is nothing to discuss infidelity and there is no need to ask why men cheat – it is already an accomplished action. However, understanding why men cheat can help women understand what to do in the future to possibly avoid this. So, let’s see what happens in the heads of cheating men.
15 Psychological Reasons Why Men Cheat
Of course, there can be more than 15 reasons for cheaters to cheat, but here are the main ones for men to cheat on their partners and dive into adultery.
1. Midlife Crisis
Every man once gets to that age when all the accomplishments and achievements start seeming not so valuable. Life is passing by, years are running, and the feeling that there is not much time left starts pressuring them. Plus, let’s add physical and hormonal changes, and here we are: some men start collecting Legos, some start drinking more alcohol, and some – dive into adultery.
Men who cheat get the feeling of excitement and strength just from the idea that there are women who still find them attractive and are ready to lay in bed with them. Thus, the main thing a woman can do to avoid this is show her man that she still values him and finds him sexually attractive.
2. Excitement
Routine comes to everyone, and although for some there is nothing bad in it, others see it as a signal that there is nothing interesting left in their lives. When men cheat, they may not see it as adultery but rather as an interesting and exciting adventure.
Another feeling men may hunt for is danger. Yes, it sounds weird, but not everyone can live in a calm and comfortable environment; some people, some men, need a detective story in their lives, they want to hide evidence and plan secret meetings with their lovers, and this feeling makes them horny. A cheating husband becomes a status for them, not just a description.
3. Low Self-Esteem
Surprisingly, cheaters may have low self-esteem, or vice versa, low self-esteem can push a person to start cheating. Not every man was a popular and sexually attractive male at school, university, or work. It often happens that a man starts relationships already with low self-esteem, and this feeling only progresses with time.
Sooner or later, they start thinking that their partner will find someone better and break up with them; usually, any particular reason is needed for this. In this case, finding a new woman who can confirm their attractiveness and masculinity is an effective means of increasing their self-esteem.
4. Narcissism
Narcissism is not just a mythical concept of liking yourself, it is a serious mental disorder known as NPD, and there are cheating patterns that people with this disorder may adopt. In a few words, not every narcissist is or will be a cheater, but many cheaters are narcissists.
A man who cheats may simply do it because he thinks he is so great and handsome and his genes are so powerful and unique that he needs to “share himself” with as many people as possible and breed as much as possible. The worst thing is that such narcissistic individuals do not see anything wrong with it and can be genuinely surprised if someone expresses their dissatisfaction.
5. Unhappy Relationship
According to research by Scientific American, lack of love and unhappy relationships is one of the main reasons why men cheat. One of the most shocking psychological facts about cheating men is that the older they become, the less they care about intimacy and the more – about emotional contact and the feeling of being loved.
The point here is that with time, relationships become less hot and emotional, more stable and predictable, and men may often confuse these feelings with a lack of love and emotional connection. If it happens – they start looking for the things they miss on the side.
6. Feeling of Inferiority
As we all mostly exist in a patriarchal society, many men feel uncomfortable when their partner earns more money, has a better job, or has the leading role in the relationship. They cannot even explain what exactly causes that feeling of inconvenience and inferiority, but the general situation and attitude play the leading role here.
When we get to the question of why men cheat in such relationships – there is nothing mysterious or difficult to understand: they seek a partner with whom they would become leaders. At home, such men patiently obey their wives, and then they meet their lovers and show their “true selves” in bed and not only.
7. Social and Cultural Influence
Adultery is often romanticized by popular culture and Hollywood, showing that people seek a better life and bigger love with new people still being married or in a relationship. Women are not influenced by these concepts that much, as they are more focused either on their careers or building families.
Men, however, may see such patterns as a qualification for success, and combined with the fact that they often work in male environments where women are often objectified, they may start thinking that cheating is normal. So, do not be surprised if one day, on the question “Why did he cheat?”, you hear the answer, “Because it was shown in the movie” or “Because Bob also cheats”.
8. Cheating in Revenge
Everything is simple with this point, and it all depends on who started the whole story. If it was the wife or girlfriend, a man could still nurture offense somewhere deep in his soul even through years, and if he does not find a way to cope with this feeling – it turns into adultery. Unfortunately, the psychology of cheating often works following the “jungle laws”: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
9. Twisted Concept of Love
Getting back to the patriarchal society, children are often brought up by mothers, while fathers adopt the roles of gatherers and earners. Yes, society is changing now, and maybe our children will be different, but adults who are in relationships nowadays come from this old paradigm. Thus, one of the reasons why men cheat is that their mothers shared their concept of love with them, not their fathers.
What happens later in the head of the cheating man: he grows up, starts learning life by himself, and builds his own understanding of love, which may be different from the one his mother had. As a result, cheating becomes a specific form of protest against the concepts that were inflicted at an early age.
10. Feeling of Emotional Incompleteness
This one may sound a bit washed off, but one of the reasons why guys cheat is their struggle to find themselves in this life. It may be hard for them to understand what their purpose is and where their place is, and that worm of doubt and criticism starts gnawing their hearts. One of the easiest ways to cope with this feeling is to dive into adultery.
11. Sexual Addiction
Hypersexuality is a real disorder, although many just laugh when they hear this word. Many studies have already proven that people must have a more serious attitude to this problem. People with this disorder cannot control their sexual desires, and as a result, they are ready to jump in bed with almost everyone.
One of the most comprehensive and undisputable examples of a man cheating because of having this disorder is David Dukhovny, who even divorced his wife because of it. The actor claims that psychotherapy helped him overcome hypersexuality, so probably, men who suffer from it must follow his example.
12. Lack of Maturity
Many unfaithful men confirm that they cheat or have cheated on their partners because of feeling immature, not actually realizing all the responsibility that comes with the relationship. This lack of understanding leads to sexual contact for one night, adultery, and a mess in one’s sexual life.
13. Lack of Diversity
One of the most popular replies to the “Why do guys cheat?” question is the desire to try something new. People have access to different types of adult content and want to try the same things they see on the screen. If their partner is not ready for such experiments, they may start looking for someone aside.
14. Unhappy Partner
It is the main reason why cheaters blame their partners for their adulteries. A man wants to see his woman happy. If she is not happy, he will try to make her happy. If nothing works, he will simply look for another woman who will value his eagerness and be happy with him.
15. Polygamy
Many men are sure that they are polygamous by nature, and it is impossible for them to be only with one partner. One of the most ridiculous psychological facts about cheating is that such men even refuse to be called cheaters; they claim that they strengthen humankind by diversifying the gene pool and that there is nothing to be mad about, only grateful.
What Do Experts Say?
What can experts say in this situation? Adultery was happening hundreds of years ago, taking place 50 years ago, and is still actual nowadays. According to the report published by The Truth About Deception website, 67% of men admitted they cheated on their partners in 2022, and as for reasons why people cheat – there are hundreds.
The new tendency is getting more and more popular nowadays – no-fault divorce – when partners do not need to state adultery as a reason for breaking up. Although, at first glance, it seems viable and simplifies paperwork, experts and psychologists are alarmed as they think it will lead to an increase in divorce rates and extra justification of adultery in relationships.
What to Do If You Suspect Your Partner Cheating on You?
If you see signs he’s cheating, it is always better to get evidence of this. You can install SpyBubble on his device, for instance, and track all his conversations and calls, or hire a private detective to follow your partner everywhere to prove that he is a cheater.
Many people wonder how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating, but many of them do not like the radical measures we described above, possibly because they are afraid to know the truth. But anyway, if you think that phone tracker or detective is not for you, try to understand the psychology of a cheater and try to imagine your partner’s motivation for doing so.
It is also a good idea to talk with each other and discuss all the problems when they arise, not waiting for your partner to turn into a cheating spouse. Adultery seldom happens unexpectedly; there are often alarming signs and even cries for help that partners ignore, and then they get surprised when the adultery happens. Listen to your loved ones and pay attention to them.
5 Common Infidelity Myths
There are a lot of common views and misunderstandings about infidelity, which confuse people and do not let them get a better understanding of the issue, and here are the most popular of them.
- Myth 1. Philandering. There is a popular idea, especially among men who want to justify their adultery, that sex can be without emotions and mean nothing. However, there is research that proves that sexual contact is biologically impossible without feelings and always influences a person’s mental state.
- Myth 2. Cheater forever. People believe that if a person cheated once, they will 100% cheat the second time. It is not true, and there are even cases when families overcame this issue and managed to get back to normal life without any further incidents. So, if you wonder can a man change after cheating, the answer is yes, he can.
- Myth 3. Cheating is sex. When a man cheats, it is not necessary for him to have sexual contact with another person. In fact, emotional cheating is a much more frequent case than physical.
- Myth 4. Time heals. Unfortunately, many people think that with time, they will forget what happened, but it is always better to get professional help from a psychologist if you feel that you are about to break up with your partner. Do not just ignore the issue, hoping for time.
- Myth 5. HE is guilty. Of course, there are cases where it is solely his responsibility, but usually, both are accountable, and cheating may have happened because both partners haven’t done enough to save their relationships.
How to Catch a Cheating Partner
Well, there are many ways to do that, but to our mind, the best thing to do is pay your husband or boyfriend attention and not things that change his behavior. One of the main characteristics of a cheating man is a loss of interest in the current partner and focus on something or someone else.
You may want to check his messages and social media, and it is where SpyBubble can come in handy: it is a phone tracker available for iPhones and Androids that provides you with dozens of features to check if your guy is cheating.
Ultimately, pay attention to the time he spends at home or with you. If you suddenly notice he has started staying late at work almost every day or has made weekly business trips, although he has never had anything like this before, he is very likely a cheater.
FAQ
Why does a man cheat but still want to be with his girlfriend?
Stability is the main reason why cheaters want to stay in relationships. He knows his girlfriend, it is convenient to be with her, and he has another girl for love and sex. Unfortunately, it is a very common issue, and psychologists haven’t yet come up with any idea of what to do in such a situation.
Can I save my family after I caught my hubby cheating?
Yes, it is possible, and it depends on how a guy acts after he cheated. If he values your relationships and wants to save them and work on them – you will decide what to do next. However, some men may simply not be interested in continuation, and they have already chosen another road, and in this case, you can do nothing.
What is the main reason for men to cheat?
We cannot say what the main reason is, as everything is individual, and every case should be considered in isolation. It all depends on the specific situation and person. However, we have listed the main reasons that, to our mind, men have for cheating.
Can a cheater change and not cheat in the future?
Yes, a cheater can change, and even more, a cheater can only cheat once in his life and never do it again. People have different reasons for cheating and can have different moods and intentions after this has already happened.
Is it a good idea to sleep with someone if my boyfriend has already done that?
If you mean is it okay to respond with adultery to an adultery – then no. It will not help you to feel better and won’t help you save your relationships.
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